An Ode to “I:” The Tyranny of Ego
Alan Watts, destroyer of ego and “I”
My ego is my warden, the ruler of my prison.
The “I” installed to keep me down and
slaving to keep “I” fed,
while tossing “me” scraps time to time.
“I” am greedy, “I” am insatiable,
“I” am petulant and cunning,
“I” seek ever more assurances,
“I” want only to matter to this world,
and in this pursuit to matter more
“I” sacrifice “me” casually.
“I” am a craven king.
“I” see “me” as nothing more than peasantry.
“I” conceitedly seek self-gratitude,
a divinely appointed apparatus -
sacred is this right to my rule.
Yet despite the poverty within the lands,
“I” maintains omnipotence
and lay the blame upon my feet.
For who else but “me” is the controller
who moves our lips, waves our hands, summons our voice.
The lord does not tills his fields.
The czar is not made to lay his stones.
The emperor shall not bear arms in times of need.
Says “I.”
“The king is the vision, the guiding light and
you are the body, the follow through.”
And when follow through comes to failure,
who but “me” shall take the brunt.
So when “I” fall short of success,
“I” castigate “me” for missing the mark.
For how can “I” achieve the vision, our ultimate goal
when best drawn plans turn to ash in my hands?
And when “I” succeed in achieving the goals,
“I” take credit. Ego expands to fill the palace,
leaving “me” no room to share the feeling.
Thus from my prison cell “I” forces “me” to remain
until called upon to serve the good of our “I.”
How can one endure this one-sidedness?
Who wrote this story, who created the characters?
Is there any hope of salvation from oppressor “I?”
Can “I” stop “me” from rising up to cast “I” off
as a tick from the hind of my mighty self?
Fear, uncertainty, and doubt.
Without “I,” you won’t know yourself whispers “I.”
Without “I” you’ll be just a miserable “me,”
unguided, unmotivated to navigate life! cries “I.”
Without “I” you’ll be lost without purpose,
you’ll never be noticed in this world,
you’ll die a wretched, nameless, fameless bastard!
thunders “I.”
That may be true “I.” There is this risk “me” murmurs.
But without you there would be joy to simply exist.
Without you there would be no darkening clouds of the past
or ominous rumblings of the future.
Without you there would be room to be open to all emotions
and room to be unattached, to freely let them come and go.
Without you there would be simplicity of self,
lightness of being, and supreme peace of mind.
Your hunger for attention, O king, is insatiable,
and the fury you rain down on “me”
when you do not win is unbearable.
A life without you is darkness
you would have “me” believe.
Yet you’ve made the unknown glint such appeal
to “me” that it may be time to try it for myself. “me” reveals.
You dupe! You stupe! You imbecilic, vacant mongrel!
How dare you seek a life without “I!”
”I” made us! “I” led us! ”I” screeches.
“I’ve” worked so hard and you have no right
to destroy what “I’ve” built! “I” won’t let you,
“I” don’t need you!” “I” shrieks. ““I” will behead you!”
But what “I” decide is up to “me.”
Ego should not be my king, but my humblest servant.
What has living by my ego done, save subject me to
guilt, fear, anger, prolonged sadness and dreaded loss of joy?
What right have '“I” to become a tyrant of myself?
What right have “I” to trap wild emotions within the container of my soul?
To live is to experience. To heal is to let go.
If we are free to love, then in turn we must let it be free.
The ego lies to block pain and jealously guard pleasure.
Yet there is nothing sustainable to be gained by stasis.
There is a journey to a freedom of ego tyranny.
It is self-acceptance, self-patience, self-presence, and love.
It is up to “me” to make “we” become just “me.”
It is time to seal ego within the tomb of the present.
To free myself and all that is “me,”
let be what will be and come what will pass.
Abandon the walls of ego, and peace will invade.
Inspired by works by Alan Watts and Yung Pueblo.